Welcome

Todos somos muy ignorantes. Lo que ocurre es que no todos ignoramos las mismas cosas.


So this is my blog, here is were I can write, express and make fun of anything I want to.

Here you'll know a little more about me, and the way I see things, how I deal with some ideas and why I am who I am.

martes, 23 de diciembre de 2008

All I Need




I'm dying to catch my breath
Oh why don't i ever learn
I've lost all my trust though i've surely tried to
Turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now
Don't let it close

I'm here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
From turning around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear it down
What's left of me
Make my heart a better place

I've tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away
Don't break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don't tear me down

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place

Don't tear me down
For all i need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something i can believe
Don't tear it down
What's left of me
Make my heart a better place

jueves, 28 de agosto de 2008

Sigue...

Este va dedicado
al conejo rojo
que habita en mis sueños:



Muchacho...
tú pasaste
por mi camino
un día,
tus ojos me miraron
con profundo anhelar,
tus ojos en que vaga

la honda melancolía,
de la visión de un sueño
que se pierde
en el mar...
Tú también
has sentido
la nostalgia terrible
de un amor que se sueña

sin poderse lograr;
de un amor infinito
que por ser imposible,
pasará como un sueño
en tu peregrinar...
mas la senda
es muy larga
y tu existencia

empieza,
goza, tal vez mañana
te tocará sufrir
ahora es un pecado
que externes
tu tristeza...
¡ te queda todavía
tanto qué vivir !...

Sigue, pues caminante,
tu vida de estudiante,
sigue hilando ilusiones
de amor y de inquietud
peregrino de un sueño...
sigue más adelante,
no olvides
que muy pronto

se va la juventud...


martes, 10 de junio de 2008

Predestinadaa la Tristeza


Ya no soy yo amado,
y no sé quién soy, si todavía permanezco,
si estoy aquí y lo que toco está.
Las palabras me caen como agua fresca,
la tristeza se riega en mi música ensangrentada.
En mi corazón se anida un animal herido
y mis versos preferidos los dije a la noche
que aguarda el beso caliente del amante
y el rumor perecedero de la piedra.
Ya no soy yo amado,
y no sé si estoy aquí, si mis miembros se cierran
o se abren,
si la muerte es un mal sueño dilatándose en mis venas,
recordando como una voz antigua,
mi no permanecer, ni fugaz sentir, mi antiguo malestar
caído de la duda.

lunes, 2 de junio de 2008

POEMA PARA INVENTAR UN DIOS


Vas y vienes como delicioso mensajero
enviado por los dioses
y me oyes hablar y hablar
con esa deliciosa curvatura de tus labios,
dispuesto a corregir con armonioso acierto.
Tu rozas el delicado tobillo del amor
con la agilidad de un gato.
Alargas tus ojos hacia los lechos purpúreos de sueños
mientras enciendes tu cotidiano cigarrillo
como una luciérnaga que ilumina para capturar la noche.
Me parece que estás poseído, ya no hablas,
tu lengua se ha secado y tu risa luce
como un pequeño regalo envuelto en alas
de delgadas mariposas.
Ebrio más que Baco deslizas tus movimientos
a través de mi cintura.
Lentamente, abandonados, somos un par de astros
que estallan en la dimensión de un lecho.

domingo, 27 de abril de 2008

Pensamiento Oculto

Por qué no vienes hacia mí

y posas tu palabra en mi desnuda carne

y renuevas mi sangre y la calientas.

Juguemos con la lunática noche

a dibujar mi voz en tu boca

a danzar con música de agua.

...

Me crispa este sutil secreto

mientras amablemente hablamos

de las mil noches y una noche.

martes, 22 de abril de 2008

Danza

Qué voz hace crujir el vestido de seda
de esta noche y entreabrir los muslos tiernamen
te
y desnudar su espalda de mujer?
Parece ser el canto ebrio de bacantes
o el susurro lejano de una viuda
o la lluvia entrecortada de una novia.
¿Qué voz extraña hace que el perro se levante y dance,
y la luna galope en el lomo de un caballo,
y el lago abra su ojo cristalino más que nunca?
¡Levántate, amor! La noche espera ser ungida

de vinos y perfumes,
sacrificada como una diosa frágil
entre los brazos de la tierra.

lunes, 14 de abril de 2008

Bad Day




Where is the moment we needed the most

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
You tell me your blue skies fade to grey
You tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeeeah)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

(Oh, yeah, yeaaah, yeah)
Had a bad day
(Oh, had a bad day)
Had a bad day
(Oh, yeah, yeah, yeeeeah)
Had a bad day
(Oh, had a bad day)
Had a bad day...
Had a bad day...

martes, 25 de marzo de 2008

Namárië


Ai! laurië lantar lassi súrinen,
Ah! like gold fall the leaves in the wind,
yéni únótimë ve rámar aldaron!
long years numberless as the wings of trees!
Yéni ve lintë yuldar avánier
The long years have passed like swift draughts
mi oromardi lissë-miruvóreva
of the sweet mead in lofty halls
Andúnë pella, Vardo tellumar
beyond the West, beneath the blue vaults of Varda
nu luini yassen tintilar i eleni
wherein the stars tremble
ómaryo airetári-lírinen.
in the song of her voice, holy and queenly.
Sí man i yulma nin enquantuva?
Who now shall refill the cup for me?
An sí Tintallë Varda Oiolossëo
For now the Kindler, Varda, the Queen of the stars,
ve fanyar máryat Elentári ortanë
from Mount Everwhite has uplifted her hands like clouds
ar ilyë tier undulávë lumbulë
and all paths are drowned deep in shadow;
ar sindanóriello caita mornië
and out of a grey country darkness lies
i falmalinnar imbë met,
on the foaming waves between us,
ar hísië untúpa Calaciryo míri oialë.
and mist covers the jewels of Calacirya for ever.
Sí vanwa ná, Rómello vanwa, Valimar!
Now lost, lost to those of the East is Valimar!
Namárië! Nai hiruvalyë Valimar!
Farewell! Maybe thou shalt find Valimar!
Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië!
Maybe even thou shalt find it! Farewell!

jueves, 20 de marzo de 2008

ASCENDIENDO HACIA EL OLVIDO

Redimí mi carne, la inmolé en el sagrado
bebedizo de la poesía
y me lavé en sus aguas de yerbas perfumadas.
Me liberté en el mítico olor del lenguaje
que me poseyó en los sueños.
Todo será conmigo en la hora inviolable,
todo se irá conmigo, el polvo de la luna,
tus uñas desgarrando mi fastidio,
el olor inviolable del deseo.
Los perros hambrientos del lenguaje
han dejado su presa abandonada en el silencio.
-Me duele el lenguaje que agoniza tercamente
entre mis carnes-
Olvídame
con tu recuerdo me desciendes,
me detienes.
-Lo perdido nunca más será hallado-
Déjame en la edad del olvido.
Un día me uní a esta violenta caravana
y la destrocé como a una jaula de gorilas,
destrocé la nave en que se detuvo el desespero,
la incineré como carne sagrada y su polvo
me dio la dimensión del tiempo y de la muerte.
Déjame en la edad de la nada.
Déjame ascender hacia el olvido.

viernes, 14 de marzo de 2008

Memory


In the valley of Nis the accursed waning moon shines thinly, tearing a path for its light with feeble horns through the lethal foliage of a great uperas-tree. And within the depths of the valley, where the light reaches not, move forms not meant to be beheld.

Rank is the herbage on each slope,
where evil vines and creeping plants crawl amidst the stones of ruined palaces, twining tightly about broken columns and strange monoliths, and heaving up marble pavements laid by forgotten hands. And in trees that grow gigantic in crumbling courtyards leap little apes, while in and out of deep treasure-vaults writhe poison serpents and scaly things without a name.

Vast are the stones which sleep beneath coverlets of dank moss, and mighty were the walls from which they fell. For all time did their builders erect them, and in sooth they yet serve nobly, for beneath them the grey toad makes his habitation. At the very bottom of the valley lies the river Than, whose waters are slimy and filled with weeds.

From hidden springs it rises, and to subterranean grottoes it flows, so that the Demon of the Valley knows not why its waters are red, nor whither they are bound. The Genie that haunts the moonbeams spake to the Demon of the Valley, saying,

"I am old, and forget much.
Tell me the deeds and aspect and name of them
who built these things of Stone."

And the Demon replied,

"I am Memory, and am wise in lore of the past, but I too am old.
These beings were like the waters of the river
Than, not to be understood.
Their deeds I recall not, for they were but of the moment.
Their aspect I recall dimly, it was like to that of the little apes in the trees.
Their name I recall clearly, for it rhymed with that of the river.
These beings of yesterday were called Man."

So the Genie flew back to the thin horned moon, and the Demon looked intently at a little ape in a tree that grew in a crumbling courtyard.

H. P. Lovecraft

lunes, 3 de marzo de 2008

Ritual Secreto




Amante mío, estoy desnuda, más fresca que el agua azul
para tu noche de amor.
Cada extremo de mi boca,
cada esquina de mis miembros
se apresuran como ágiles peces
hacia tus tibias aguas.

Amante mío, yo deseo la mordedura de tus dientes
y me encamino temblorosa hacia cada uno de tus dedos,
me detengo a mirar tu cuerpo a través de oscura cerradura
e incontenible deseo se posa en mis húmedos senos.
Por ti se escapa la sequedad de mi boca,

mi mirada de brújula perdida en tus rincones,
floto voluptuosa en tus profundas aguas
y me abro como flor nocturna a tu plácida noche.
Mi cuerpo, fiesta fértil y lasciva.
Paséeme solitaria, desnuda ante tu noche,

siémbrame semillas olorosas a sal.
Mírame desnuda

con la hermosa sospecha
que mi vientre será fértil a tu salada lluvia.

Mi caverna, tibia y silenciosa, guarida perfecta
de tu solitario cuerpo,
Mi boca es suave entre tus dientes,
mi lengua, pájaro que anida en tu boca.
Por mi carne fluye sudor de hierro
y me prendo
como alga marina a tu confuso mar.
Soy la obra inconclusa

con infinitas posibilidades para un final.
Me entrego fácil a tus brazos,
con el misterioso encanto de un ritual.

lunes, 25 de febrero de 2008

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages




English - I love you
Afrikaans
- Ek het jou lief

Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali
- Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)

Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya
- Nahigugma ako kanimo

Bulgarian
- Obicham te

Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan
- T'estimo

Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne
- Ne mohotatse

Chichewa
- Ndimakukonda

Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche
- U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma-koo-too-----nu)
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian
- Volim te

Czech - Miluji te
Danish
- Jeg Elsker Dig

Dutch
- Ik hou van jou

Elvish
- Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)

Esperanto
- Mi amas vin

Estonian
- Ma armastan sind

Ethiopian
- Afgreki'

Faroese
- Eg elski teg

Farsi
- Doset daram

Filipino
- Mahal kita

Finnish
- Mina rakastan sinua

French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian
- Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian
- Mikvarhar

German
- Ich liebe dich

Greek
- S'agapo

Gujarati
- Hoo thunay prem karoo choo

Hiligaynon
- Palangga ko ikaw

Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female) To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon
- Guina higugma ko ikaw

Hindi
- Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae

Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi
- Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian
- Szeretlek

Icelandic
- Eg elska tig

Ilonggo
- Palangga ko ikaw

Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema

domingo, 24 de febrero de 2008

Ojos Habitados

Ven, ciérrame los ojos con un beso

para que no pueda ver mi cielo,

y de nuevo

ábreme los ojos con un beso

para que así no pueda verlo entre mi sueño.

Oblígame al secreto

para que nada diga de los besos,

y pídeme que cante

para que pueda hablarte.

Eres el que puso en mis labios la voz,

desde hace mucho tiempo,

y has habitado mis manos

desde que mi sangre sólo estaba creciendo.

Ibas a preguntarme

por mi cadena insomne,

y era mayor el hambre de mi acecho

y la estructura de mis huesos

estaba decayendo.

Ven, ciérrame los ojos

para que pueda descansar mi ruego.

domingo, 17 de febrero de 2008

Alone

From childhood's hour
I have not been As others were;
I have not seen As others saw;
I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow;
I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Edgar Allan Poe

viernes, 8 de febrero de 2008

¿Qué sabes de ti?

Que puedes decirme a parte de tu sexo,
tu lugar de nacimiento,
el color de tus cabellos, y tu nombre?
Más allá de conocer aproximadamente tus necesidades
y funciones de tu cuerpo:
tener frío, tener sed, dormir, respirar,
alimentarte, mear, defecar y tener sexo hasta cansarte.
Que sabes de ti?
Dime, por favor,
que te vuelve diferente?
Por ejemplo,
que percibes cuando miras el reflejo de tu rostro en el estanque?
Te contempla o lo contemplas?
Son tus ojos los que miran?
Son tus sueños en el agua los que lloran, los que vibran?
O refleja
la cansada gravedad de un
rostro inmóvil,
ordinario,
dilatado en la húmeda superficie del espejo.
Lo aprisionas.
Es el llanto de tus ojos,
es el agua del estanque lo que escapa,
irremediablemente,
de tus manos

domingo, 3 de febrero de 2008

Te Espero



Te espero
en la última hora de la tarde
con el deseo de dejarte
destrenzar mis cabellos en el aire. Y te quiero
con mi último amor entretejido
en la sombra del sauce.
Esta es la hora azul
de mi ventana,
y aquella es la campana
de mis tardes.
Todavía
puedo cantar tu lejanía
con la misma ansiedad
de aquellos días disueltos en la infancia.
Todos mis días fueron
como murciélagos
ciegos;
fueron como voces
gritadas en el agua;
lo mismo que canciones
no escuchadas.
Pero ahora,
lejos de tu mirada,
comprendo tanta luz que me cegaba.
Y en esta hora azul,
la de mi llama renovada,
puedo decirte que te espero
con aquella canción interminada.


domingo, 27 de enero de 2008

A Dream

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.
Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?
That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.
What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?


Edgar Allan Poe

jueves, 24 de enero de 2008

La Amante


Soy la amante
que estrenas,
la nueva, la eterna,
la de muslos trigueños,
columnas seguras
que se abren perfectamente
para dar paso
a tu mar ancho y espeso.


Soy la de paralelas montañas,
erectas, duras,
por donde han caminado
pájaros heridos de amor.


Soy la amante nocturna,
la de noctámbulos besos,
(mis ojos, túneles profundos
donde se pierde la soledad).


Soy la de siempre, la eterna,
la que te arranca el hastío
de cada costado,
la que se tiende plácidamente,
la que se para,
la que te sorprende,
la que se quita las vestiduras
y se lava en tu río claro.


Soy la que te crucifica
con mis ojos, con mi lengua,
la que se pierde
en tu mirada lela,
la que infatigable
recorre tu cuerpo,
la que vibra con devoción
en tu silencioso mundo.


Soy ella, la eterna,
la antigua, la nueva,
la de siempre
la que se cierra
la que se abre
la de ambivalentes tardes.

Soy la que renace,
la que se abre
la que se cierra.

Orietta lozano

sábado, 19 de enero de 2008

Te Buscare

Te buscare en la noche

Para endulzar cada minuto de mi vida…

Te buscare en los suspiros

Que dejaste en mí ser.

Te buscare hasta encontrarte y solo desearte

Sabor acariciante,

Dulces instantes viviremos los dos.

¡Quiero encontrarte, besarte, amarte haciéndote mío…!

Quiero recorrer los senderos del futuro conmigo,

Y al encontrarte no dejarte ir.

Buscarte es locura, locura que no se cura;

Y esta ansiosa de ti…

Eres mi equilibrio, mi paz.

Sin ti voy sin rumbo fijo, errática por la vida.

Encontrarte es mi presente

Deseando convertir el instante en infinito.

Déjate envolver por la lama de este amor,

De este fuego que habita en mí.

Quero que las sabanas sean testigo

De este amor febril,

Del placer de amarte y que me ames.

Te buscare, paso a paso,

Y derramare en ti,

Este torrente de pasión,

Hasta beber del manantial de tus deseos…

viernes, 4 de enero de 2008

Mi Locura














Nunca hubo un mejor pretexto
para derribarme inconsciente
que probar el aromadel placer
y dejarlo crecer en mis adentros.

Fué una tormenta de mil recuerdos,
de días completos perdidos en el suelo,
estuve viendo colores puros,
escuchando nombres indecibles,
absorbiendo sentimientos exteriores,
ajenos a mi.
Mi locura fué desatada,
para encontrar después una verdad,
pequeña o grande,
pero a la que me adhiero
más allá de mi propia cordura;
el infierno es irracional,
definitivamente estaba anidado adentro,
lo tenia oculto, pero ha salido libre;
hubiera sido mejor seguir con los ojos vendado...
por lo menos es siempre más cómodo.
Una necesidad circula en mi sangre
de disolverme entre las sombras,
de conjurar anhelos extraños, íntimos, impíos,
reactivados por mi misma.
Debí de  seguir con los ojos vendados.

How to keep human beings as pets (cat perspectives)





Timian the Cat Supreme


There has been some discussions in cat circles lately on the benefits of keeping human beings as pets. Some cats have argued that to much work is involved, and that humans impede their freedom. Others say that human beings are useful because they work hard and are in general easy to train and keep clean.

I definitely belong to the latter group. And speak out of experience, having kept two human beings as pets since the fall of last year.

Per and Susanne are friendly creatures, they show strong affection towards me and my sister Basilikum and are in general good at performing the tasks required of them (the provision of food, litter box cleaning etc.).

If I have any complaint it must be that it is hard to get them to understand the concept of quality food. I am sure the dry pellets are good for my fur, but they taste like cardboard!

Anyway, I believe it would benefit some of my fellow cats if a shared my man keeping rules with them.

1. Be strict and consistent


Human beings are simple creatures and their instincts may drive them towards trying to restrict you freedom of movement. They may, for instance, try to stop you from walking on tables, scratching furniture and eating plants.

In my experience the proper response is be gentle, but strict. Make it totally clear that this is your preserve and that you decide. If you are persistent long enough, the human beings will give in.

Give them a hug when they give in. You can get a long way with some positive conditioning!

2. Communicate in a transparent manner

My human pets have clearly been around cats before, as they do — for instance — understand that narrow eyes signify a sense of satisfaction.

In other ways, however, they are totally inept at normal communication, which proves, in my opinion, that the human intelligence is not well developed. They are brighter than dogs, but then again, what animal isn’t?

They do, for instance, not understand that it is impolite not to sniff a behind when presented to them. On the other hand, I accept the explanation given by my sister Basilikum for the fact that they do not raise their own tails: The poor creatures do not have tails, and their unfortunate lack of fur forces them to cover their behinds in artificial skins.

Some philosophers have argued that human beings have a underdeveloped body language and a weak sense of smell because they are using sound for communication instead — very much in the same way as birds.

However, recent research goes against this theory. Hence Felix the Magnificent believes that their chattering is just a form of auditory grooming. He correctly points out that not one of the intelligent species we know of (cats, lions, leopards, pumas, lynx and tigers) make active use of noise for advanced communication, except for reining in kittens, warning enemies or attracting mates.

Hence restrict your communication to bodily contact.

3. Give them a lot of love

Humans are lovable creatures, and they like to cuddle. Bodily contact seems to calm them down, which makes them easier to handle. Furthermore, their strange paws are perfect for grooming!

The old Scythian philosopher Flaming Fur the Brave once argued that the creation of the human paw was a proof of God’s existence, as the perfect fit with the needs of cats could not be the result of chance.

A modern version of this theory is the idea that humans and cats live in a kind of symbiosis: Cats provide leadership, while humans provide food, sand and scratching.

I find this symbiosis theory very doubtful, as both humans and cats may survive on their own.

I rather believe in the evolutionary theory of Maximilian the Great, who argues that man’s adaption to the needs of cats is the result of the development of agriculture.

Rats and mice have always been a threat to the storage of grain and vegetables. Cats always tend to favor humans that treat them nicely. The support of cats gives these humans a stronger chance for survival, as cats help them fight the rodents. In the long run this has led to the development of human beings with a strong affinity to cats.

As some may note, this theory is a variation of Powerful Purr’s attempt at explaining the more ancient dog/man relationship. That relationship grew out of man’s need for a hunting companions. Unfortunately that relationship has led to human variants called “dog lovers”. Hopefully this genetic variation will die out on its own.

4. Exploit the noisybox

Humans are normally restless animals. As soon as you have settled down in their lap or on their chest for some warm and cosy quality time, they insist on moving around, ruining a perfect nap.

I have found, though, that they tend keep still when they are worshiping the noisybox, which normally means that you will have the best success of getting them to groom you in the evenings.

A word of warning: It is easy to get carried away: Remember that the human skin is very thin when you start pushing!

5. Do not engage them during the night

Cats have for millennia tried to engage human beings during the night, a time when all sensible beings go hunting. Human beings, however, insist on sleeping during the night, and there is nothing you can do to make them change this habit. Believe me, I have tried!

If they get grumpy they may throw you out of their sleeping quarters. As any cat will know, that means that you will be excluded from parts of your preserve, which is a very frustrating experience, indeed.

6. Exploit their capacity for tool building

Human beings are, like chimps, ants and other beings low on the evolutionary ladder, good at developing and using tools. Cats are superior in this sense, as our bodies are perfectly adapted to our environment. We do not need tools.

Still, I have to admit that their use of the coldbox is an advantage, as it can store fish and other delicacies for a long time. Unfortunately you need opposable thumbs to open such a box. Hence you need a human being to do that for you. Here is one trick to make them do that:

Sit outside the coldbox and make human like noises. If you are persistent, you may activate their child rearing instincts, making them open the box and bring you food.

7. Bring them food

There is no way you can bring in enough food to feed a human family. Fortunately, there is no need, as they seem to be able to catch more than enough food themselves.

However, they seem to appreciate the symbolic value of you contributing to the human hunt. I have not done so myself, but one of my friends at the sanctuary for abandoned cats once told me that his human pets used to make happy noises when he put dead mice and birds on their sleeping cots.

Strangely enough, that did not stop them from throwing him out of their cave.



By Aviana PK
http://aviana.com/blog/?p=27
guest writer Timian

Salvador Dali

Echo of Death

Echo of Death
La muerte llama, uno a uno, a todos los hombres y a las mujeres todas, sin olvidarse de uno solo -¡Dios, qué fatal memoria!-, y los que por ahora vamos librando, saltando de bache en bache como mariposas o gacelas, jamás llegamos a creer que fuera con nosotros, algún día, su cruel designio. Camilo José Cela

Comments and Suggestions

Comments and Suggestions